DermerDays

I have recovered significantly from my dislocated toe incident so I went back to the gym. I am trying to get back into shape. After Costa Rica kicked my ass, Paulo and Nat noting my inadequacy, I realized I better get back to it. I have had this notion that after CANCER, I should not have to work too hard for things to be good. Many painful post-cancer experiences, however, have led me to believe that I better start kicking it. I do not get the anticipated "free pass" for life; I must work hard to achieve my goals. I still say, no fair, but, of course, God, Goddess, or whoever is in charge, did not send me a memo stating that it would be fair.

I think the work-out/fitness piece has been the most difficult, however, because of how much the treatment fucked up my body. Prior to the discovery of the cancer cells taking over my uterus, I was in fantastic shape. I was at an ideal weight and excellent fitness level. My biggest complaint was what I thought was asthma. I had allergies and asthma as a kid, but had gotten allergy shots and thought that it was mostly behind me. I started having breathing trouble during my biking and so began using asthma inhalers to mitigate this. Turns out, I was having trouble breathing because I was anemic from the cancer.

My diagnosis anniversary is coming up -- April 1 (ahh the irony). It will be four years from the diagnosis. It is time for me to come to terms with my new body. I have been saying that for quite some time. But, I feel like I am slowly, steadily taking action. I am back at the gym; I have been taking pilates for over a year. I just need to lose the excess weight. I was going to publicly flog myself by publishing my current weight and my pre-cancer treatment weight, but I have changed my mind. Oh. . .wait, I think it is changing again. . .

Ahhh, what the heck -- I am carrying excess weight in the amount of (drum roll please) thirty (30) pounds. Eck.

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On Monday, President's Day, I went to Trader Joe's to do some shopping. I was driving home when I was struck with the most awful pain in my mouth, located on the upper right side, near the back of my mouth. By the time I arrived home, I was in such agonizing pain that I had to go lie down and writhe around a bit. Milissa gave me some ibuprofen and tylenol, but the pain persisted. She then went out and got some tooth numbing stuff from the drugstore. Between this substance and the ibuprofen and tylenol, I felt some relief. Unfortunately, the relief was short-lived. I took the pills and applied the ointment prior to retiring for the evening, but it wore off around 4am. At that time, I awoke with unbearable pain once again. I got up took more pills, put more of the medication on the area in my mouth and finally got the pain to a level at which I could go back to sleep.

I woke up a few hours later feeling awful and in pain again. I had to go to work, but called my dentist from my office. This is a big deal because I really hate going to the dentist; my dentist is quite good, but I truly try to avoid any interactions with the world of medicine if at all possible. This includes the dentist. Anyway, I called and they got me in right away. I believed that I probably needed a root canal, but was shocked to find out that the pain was caused by my wisdom tooth. I began shaking when the dentist announced that he would need to "extract" the tooth right then and there. I requested sedation, but my dentist declared that I would not need it and that if I wanted it, I would need to have my physician sign off on it. Thus, I would have to wait to have the pain stop if I wanted sedation. So, I grasped the handles of the chair and said, "bring it."

He gave me three painful shots in my mouth (not nearly as painful as the tooth), gave it a few minutes and began digging my upper right wisdom tooth out. The amount of force applied to my tooth by my dentist was quite remarkable, but in short time, he had my tooth in his hand. He showed me the big chunk of decay that had caused my nerve to be exposed resulting in the unbearable pain. Now I just have pain from the force of the extraction and the ongoing taste of blood in my mouth, which is absolutely disgusting.

Every dentist I have had over the years have strongly encouraged me to have my wisdom teeth removed and I have always resisted (actually ignored). Each warned me that this very thing would happen if I did not get them taken out.

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Perhaps you may have noticed that I have not written for a while. Here's what happened: I found and purchased a Wii. Initially, I was not excited; in fact, I told Milissa that I might just sell it on ebay as it was not any fun at all. The primary reason for my zealousness in seeking out the device was the ability to download old school games and play them. After all, once you reach 40, your gaming capacity is slow to improve. My ability is pretty much set and all the strafing and other multi-button pushing actions required of most contemporary games are outside my simple facility.

My favorite gaming system (prior to the Wii) is my XBox 360, but not because of the awesome graphics and processing power. No, it is because you can download games from XBox Live that are from my gaming era (i.e. mid-1980s) or at least replicate the skills required in that era of gaming. One of my all-time favorite games for XBox 360 is a litle download called "Cloning Clyde." Pure genious. The humor is base and hilarious and it takes place in two dimensions. Seriously, part of my problem with the current crop of video games is that you have to be able to move around in three dimensions. This is no easy task for someone who recently dislocated her little toe walking across the living room. But, I digress. That's another story involving a visit to the ER, two shots of lydecane in my little toe and the "reduction" of the toe (putting it back in place). Both humiliating and painful.

Okay, back to the gaming world as I see it. I have actually won "Cloning Clyde," but continue to play it because it is so damn fun. Anyway, I was going to sell my Wii on ebay as I was completely unimpressed by it. I downloaded a bunch of Mario games and was completely uninspired by them. Milissa said, "why not buy a game first and see how you like that." Ehh, all right, if you insist. So, I purchased "Rayman, Raving Rabbids" as it seemed like it might be just as base and fun as "Cloning Clyde." Oh, and I was not disappointed. Damn, it is fun. There is something so incredibly satisfying about shooting evil "rabbid" invaders with a plunger. And, the dancing bunnies, do not even get me started on that. Wow. I won the game last night and was a little disappointed. But, I still have all the scores modes to go through, so much fun lies ahead. The first time I played the game, I started at around 8pm and the next time I looked up, it was past midnight, Milissa had gone to bed without me (she claims to have attempted to roust me from my gaming reverie to no avail -- this I do not remember) and the dogs were snoozing around my feet.

Anyway, I'm not selling my Wii. But, I need more games of the caliber of "Clyde" and "Rayman," so send me your suggestions! Andy T., I hope you check this blog now and then.

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