40 Plus
Today is my 41st birthday. I tend to dislike the whole birthday extravaganza and prefer to be left alone on the anniversary of my birth. However, today has not been too bad.
I was riding over the weekend with my current riding pals, Thomas and Jared, and student, Christopher B. Recently, Thomas, Jared and I all pitched in for a set of walkie-talkies so that we could reach one another easily while out on the trails. We also had a bit of child-like giddiness over the thought of carrying walkie-talkies and using terms like "10-4" and "Over" and "Come Back." However, the primary reason for this purchase, I am somewhat embarassed to say, was so that the "boys" could keep in contact with me as I fell behind or just fell. They tend to ride faster than I do and it pisses me off. But, I also hate it when they stop and wait for me because when I reach them, then we all stop. I like to keep riding with no stops, so I encourage them to keep moving and assure them that I will catch up. The walkie-talkie allows them to let me know if they've taken a turn on the trail so that I do not become hopelessly lost in the woods or hopelessly lost and injured. This is good as I do fall often and get lost often. After my last fall where I smacked my kneecap for the second time this season on a rock (it was not healed from the first time), I summoned Thomas and Jared back to where I was lying, bleeding in agony. The walkie-talkies worked well:
"Rider down. Death imminent. Over."
"We're on our way, Over."
Actually, though, after they reached me, they made fun of me and took pictures of the blood pouring down my leg, so maybe it was not so great. Thomas had bandages, though, so that was good.
Anyway, as I was riding along this weekend, falling behind of the group of boys, I started a dialogue in my head. I was chastising my weakness and inability to keep up. But, then I had a thought:
"I am a 40 plus woman riding with 22-, 30- and 32-year-old men/boys. AND, I had cancer, 2 abdominal surgeries and radiation treatment."
So, fuck it. I am tough.
Anyway, the birthday has been good thus far:
1. Milissa demanded that I return home by 6pm for some sort of "surprise" and I'm actually excited about that.
2. Nat Grether called me for my birthday.
3. My Niece and Nephew called me up to wish me happy birthday.
4. Kate made me a collage featuring Ms. Jennifer Hudson.
5. Kate got me "better than mom's chocolate cake" and she and several other colleagues sang the birthday song to me.
6. I went out to lunch with Thomas, Jared, Christopher M. and Molly.
Perhaps my dread of my birthday is diminishing or the bad omen that I attached to it post-cancer is relinquishing it's hold.