Gender Neutral
I went for a morning bike ride in the fells on Thursday. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and it was warm. I was happy to be riding. I started off on the NEMBA loop, but quickly was distracted by another trail. I followed this trail unmindfully, not worrying about where I might end up. As often happens when I do this, I ended up in the Sheepsfold parking area on a dirt road that runs along side the entrance road. Because I often end up here, I know a good way to get back on good trails.
I followed the dirt road to a singletrack trail that marks a border between a grassy open area on the right and a wooded, fenced area on the left. There is a trail and hole through the fence that leads back into the woods near the reservoir. As I approached this intersection, a dog came charging toward me, barking with all it's energy, almost frothing at the mouth. I stopped my bike to attempt to calm the dog. I heard a man yelling at me from several hundred feet away; he is obviously the dog's owner.
"Sir, just keep moving. He won't bite, sir. Just keep going, sir. Sir! Keep moving. He won't bite you."
Suddenly, my wonderful and peaceful ride is radically altered and I was angry. First of all, I thought, "Don't tell me what to do," and second, I thought, "Stop calling me sir." But then I wondered, would I prefer the oppositional term to 'sir' -- 'ma'am'? No.
"Sir, please just keep moving."
I was jolted out of my reverie, still feeling extremely angry. I started pedaling. Not only did he call me 'sir,' he kept repeating it needlessly, after every phrase he spoke.
"That's it, sir, just keep moving. He won't bite you, sir."
The dog continued to bark at me in the most ferocious manner and I started pedaling, following orders and becoming more angry with every word that came out of the man's mouth. I reached the intersection and turned into the wooded area.
"That's great, sir. Yeah, go in there, sir. He won't follow you in there, sir. Great, yeah, sir, just keep going."
Now I am livid and I have the uncontrollable urge to scream, "stop telling me what to do." But instead, I shout, "It's MA'AM you jackass!" as if I really want to be called ma'am and then I added, "Get a leash!"
The man started shouting an apology and then I think he responded to the leash comment, but I could no longer make out his words. I pedaled hard to escape him and the anger I felt. I stopped finally and started to decompress. And, I started thinking about the words Sir and Ma'am. Who does want to be called by these words? They are so grossly inappropriate in most situations. Then, I wondered if people should be held responsible for keeping up with cultural trends, changes and appropriate terms. When I was young, say into my twenties, I think these were appropriate words for addressing those elder than oneself. However, since I am now often in that category (the elder), they seem like ridiculous terms. I think I prefer the term 'dude,' which I think has become gender neutral, although not entirely desirable as a generic term for fellow human. But, this guy would not even know what gender neutral(actually, I do not think that I have ever used the term 'gender neutral' in a serious way and I am probably not now) means as he could not even perceive that the female gender might be riding a bike in the woods. I do not think I look like a man, although I do have short hair and I often wear men's clothing. This is what I looked like that day:
Do I look like a man? Or, was it simply that I was mountain biking and only men can do that? Or, is it assumed that the male term is preferred -- better to call a woman a man than a man a woman? I dunno. It messed up part of my ride. That dude sucks. Maybe he did not know how to address a dyke.